We think, “I’m not attached. This is not disturbing my mind.” Yet the moment it is taken away from us, we freak out. That’s when we know that we have crossed the line.
What is tricky is that the feeling that accompanies attachment is happiness. We ordinary beings don’t want to give up happiness, so we don’t see that by clinging and grasping at it, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment when it goes away.
If it’s a small attachment, then it’s a small disappointment. But when it’s a big attachment, we are devastated when it is gone. We have so much grief around that. For example, we see something we like—a cool car, some sports equipment, or whatever—and we buy it because we anticipate sense pleasure from it.
In addition, we believe having it will create a certain image of ourselves so that others will think we’re successful and will approve of us. Does having the car fill that inner feeling of emptiness inside of us?
In addition, since we’ve invested a lot in that car, when the neighbor accidentally dents it, we’re furious.
It’s so sad—here we are with a precious human life and the possibility to generate impartial love and compassion for all sentient beings and to realize the nature of reality, and instead we use our lives to create a lot of negative karma procuring and protecting external things and people that we think will make us everlastingly happy.
by Thubten Chodron
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