The Look of Joy

Another time I was teaching in Ukraine and stopped in Kiev for the day to see a friend of the man who was translating for me. The food she offered us was several varieties of potatoes. That’s all she had. But we were her guests so she pulled out some chocolate she had been saving and shared it with us. Although she had little money, when we got to the train station she got some baked goods for us to have on the train.

I had a maroon cashmere sweater which I loved – talk about the eight worldly concerns! On the way to the train station the thought came into my mind to give Sasha my sweater. And instantly another thought said, “No! Get that idea out of your mind, it’s unreasonable and stupid!”

There I was, someone from a wealthy country, I was only going to be there another couple of weeks, it was springtime, I didn’t really need the sweater and I could get another sweater (perhaps not a beautiful cashmere one,) back in the States.

But I was so attached to that sweater. My mind was so painful and an internal civil war waged the whole ride to the station, “Give her the sweater! No, you need it. Give it to her. No, she won’t like it,” on and on.

Just before the train left the station, I gave her the sweater, and I’ll never forget the look of joy on her face. And to think my attachment and miserliness almost sabotaged that!

by Thubten Chodron